Recovering out loud—being very open about the addiction and recovery journey in all aspects of life—is growing more popular. Here’s Chris’s take on this choice.
It’s hard to believe it’s been about 7 years since I stepped into my first 12-step meeting. I remember walking in and feeling such fear. As soon as I glanced through the room, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness. I am part of the BIPOC and LGBT+ communities, and it didn’t look like any person in the room fit into either of those categories. I sat there and listened to everyone share their experience, strength, and hope, but I struggled to connect with them since we had major differences. Everyone in recovery has heard the saying “The opposite of addiction is connection.” After that first meeting, I knew I was going to have to put more effort into obtaining that connection. That is why I choose to recover out loud, being outspoken and honest about my journey in my personal life, at work, in recovery spaces, and online.
How I choose to recover out loud:
- Seek like-minded people: After that first meeting, I did my research. (Note that even though I was searching for LGBT+ groups, you can do similar searches if you’re part of a different kind of community.) I found LGBT+ 12-step meetings and recovery support groups. You can do a quick Google search to find one available locally or even over Zoom. Good search terms include the group or fellowship you’re a part of (AA, NA, CMA, etc.) plus the terms Lambda, queer, gay, or LGBT. If you’re part of a treatment program, ask if they have a group for LGBT+ folks. For example, we have a support group for Workit members called Queerecovery that’s led by a staff member in recovery who is also part of the LGBT+ community. You can also check out these resources:
- Sonder (website)
- Gay & Sober (website)
- Gays and Lesbians in AA (website)
- LGBTQIA+ Queer Sangha – Recovery Dharma (website)
- QTIBIPOC Healing Space (Facebook community)
- Social media: This can be controversial, but I choose to be open and honest in my social media presence about everything in my recovery. This includes posting about my relapses. Being this outspoken let me filter out the people who were not genuinely there for me. I’ve also joined virtual support groups with recovery folks with whom I have things in common.
- Saying “Yes”: Whenever anyone in recovery asks me to go somewhere or do something I say “Yes.” This helps me build stronger relationships with people I never thought I would get close to. You never know what pivotal people might cross your path unexpectedly on this recovery journey. Saying yes when I can brings me so many opportunities and connections.
- Vulnerability: This is the most important thing of all—the decision to be honest even though you can’t control how others will react. YOU are in control of YOUR recovery journey. You get to choose who takes space in your life. It takes vulnerability, compassion, and honesty to build new relationships.
Recovering out loud is not everyone’s cup of tea. People are shy and want to keep their journey private. But for me, it’s vital. I am so thankful for the relationships I have carried for the last 7 years. They truly make my recovery journey worthwhile. That is why I choose to recover out loud.