My name is Adam. I live on Michigan’s beautiful West Coast near Lake Michigan. I love some of the typical stereotypical things a gay man loves: gardening, reading, writing, and antiques. I also delve into the teachings of East Asian Buddhism. In March of 2024, I celebrated nine years in recovery!
Like many others, my addiction arose from health issues
I fell prey to opioid addiction after having bariatric weight loss surgery in 2002. One of the common side effects is malabsorption. This means when I ate the little portions I was allowed to eat and when I took oral medication like pain pills, I couldn’t absorb the food or medication normally. My body became deficient in a lot of nutrients.
Back then, the thinking was that I should double up on all supplements and anything else I was required to take orally. My doctor also let me go back to work too early and I ended up with an incisional hernia which was very painful. I was on 240 Norco 10/325 a month and enough liquid Lortab for breakthrough pain to put an elephant down! So, that’s where it all began.
I had a terrifying wake-up call
Now, I do not and will not put all of the blame on my doctors. Even after the pain went away, I chose to continue taking the meds because I started to like how they made me feel. Then one day, I woke up in the emergency room after overdosing and crashing my car. It scared me so badly because I had been on my way home after dropping off my 1 yr old great-niece. Had I started overdosing and gone into the seizure when she was in the car with me, I could have killed her. I also got lucky because no one else was hurt or worse, killed.
Looking back over the last nine years, there have been some challenges. I was clean and sober for 6 months when my mom passed away on November 1, 2014. I had moved back home to care for her. In many ways, being able to hold her hand and be there for her when she took her last breath was both a blessing and a curse. It hit me very hard. I had a total meltdown and I relapsed.
I needed to be there for my family, so I sought help
With my mom gone, there was no one to care for my dad. You see, she was his everything for 45 years as well as his caregiver. When I was young, my dad was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. On top of that, in 2013 he was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It was a lot! Being my dad’s only child, I promised my mom I wouldn’t let anyone put him in a home. At the time of my mom’s passing, my dad had a state-sanctioned guardian and conservator. I knew if I didn’t get myself together, I was going to fail him and break the promise I made to my mom.
So on March 4, 2015, I walked into Arbor Circle in my hometown of Newaygo, MI, and got help. I already had the knowledge I’d gained from getting clean and sober before my mom passed, but Arbor Circle gave me the support I lost when I lost my mom.
The COVID-19 pandemic was devastating
On May 19, 2019, my dad passed away from pneumonia. I believe in my soul it was COVID. Not even a week after burying him, I returned back to work from bereavement leave. I had not felt good for a few days, but I had ignored it because I’d had so much prep to do for my dad’s funeral. I suddenly passed out and woke up in the ICU 8 days later. My diagnosis: pneumonia. It was horrible! I spent 3 weeks in the hospital. Then the pandemic hit and everyone at my job was sent home and the world stopped.
During the pandemic, I lost 11 family members to COVID between 2020 to 2022. I myself got COVID in 2020 and it was terrible and scary. My Mexican side—my dad’s side of the family—were dropping like flies. I refused to go to the hospital because I was afraid of not coming home. Somehow, by the grace of the Goddess and the love and light of Buddha, I made it through. I went through all of this sober and maintained my recovery.
I beat the odds and made it through nine years in recovery
I sit here today and cannot believe I didn’t give up! I am often asked how I beat the odds. Someone who had the cards stacked totally against him was able to—once and for all—overcome! Like I said, I beat the odds and have been very lucky throughout my nine years in recovery. I attribute my success to two key elements of recovery 101, “Change your persons, places, and things,” and, “One day at a time!”
I’m at a point in my life where I truly want to help others who are struggling—especially those of us who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Addiction runs rampant in our community, and I know there are a lot of people out there who ARE suffering in silence because of the negative stigma that surrounds addiction and because, as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, they already feel judged. This prevents them from walking into a room and asking for help.
To anyone suffering with addiction, I will simply tell you, “You’re not alone.” And the old cliche, “If I can do it, so can you!”
